Questions About Interracial Love and Relationships

By Abina George

I was so fortunate to meet another awesome blogger, Deanna Stilwell. Both of us happen to be in interracial couples. We decided to answer some questions so that people can better understand how and why we both ended up dating outside our race and tell our interracial stories.

How did you meet your significant other?

I am so ashamed of myself. We haven’t even admitted this to our families, so it’s been an overused tale. We tell everyone that we met in a coffee shop while the truth of the matter is that we met online. We are a product of online dating even though we both had negative experiences with the site we used and the people we contacted online. We traded numbers with the assumption that we wouldn’t date. I wasn’t interested, and he quickly picked up on that, but we enjoyed texting each other. 9 MONTHS LATER he asked me if I wanted to meet and I finally agreed. Yes, I was truly hard to get and super patient. It turned out to be a good thing for us because we had formed a friendship from talking so much.

What is the biggest struggle each of you thinks is caused by being in an interracial relationship?

We have been discussing the issues that our interracial relationship has caused, and we literally cannot think of a thing. I’m Black and my boyfriend is White and Mexican. He looks completely White and has fair skin so there is a lot of visual differences between us. The biggest difference my boyfriend noticed is how proud we are of our Black heritage and what other Black people have accomplished. My family is just more communal about success.

I feel like I blend completely well with his family. There is, however, one cultural difference that is more regional than racial. During my first visit with them, I learned that many children in the area learn how to ride bulls by starting on sheep. The number of childhood photos of children hanging on the side of a poor, unsuspecting sheep, was completely shocking.

What is something that you’d like others to know about interracial relationships?

There are so many factors that need to be considered when it comes to dating and interracial dating is no different. If someone’s personality, lifestyle, and character don’t fit, the relationship will be difficult. Overall, there are things that people need to adjust to in every relationship. There are some cultural things that might seem different but there are also personal things that couples must adjust to. It just depends on each person’s threshold for new things and how important creating a future with a person is.

Abina Blog Post Filter
Look at this Beautiful couple!!! Let’s congratulate them on their success!

What is one of the worst things you’ve experienced because of your interracial relationship?

My boyfriend and I look like a White and Black interracial relationship and we live in the South. The present-day south is not nearly as bad as it was before the civil rights movement but there are people who clearly disapprove of “race mixing”. Many people think I’m not very intelligent because of my race and suggest that White people should not marry a race below them.

I once had a friend whose father hated me because I was Black. He would not let her come and visit me because he attributed every stereotype to me. He was appalled that my boyfriend, although mixed himself, would stoop to dating me and was very upset that his family did not rebuke me. In his mind, Black people were the lowest of all races and should be avoided at all costs. My ethnicity should not be that important, but my personal accomplishments and intelligence were ignored and only my skin tone was considered.

I clearly see that my boyfriend is different than me racially, but our similarities far outweigh any cultural differences we may have. Since we both grew up around all sorts of different people, there is really nothing much culturally different between us. We are both just two adults with a goofy sense of humor and an interracial love that brings us together.

Be sure to read Abina’s blog to see her take on interracial dating 

Also be sure to check out my response to the same questions on Abina’s blog here.

10 thoughts on “Questions About Interracial Love and Relationships

  1. Great read! I too am in an interracial relationship, so I can agree with a lot that was said. It’s sad that even in today’s world some people still shake their heads at an interracial couple. But, you love who you love. My family has always taught me that color doesn’t matter. It’s all about who you have a connection with. My momma always says ‘I don’t care if the person you’re dating is red, purple, green, etc! As long as they treat you right and make you happy!’ Thank you for sharing! (:

    1. I wish more people had the same ideals as your mom when it comes to interracial relationships. I have another blog about my own personal interracial relationship struggles if you’d like to check it out ☺️ Glad to hear you have support for your interracial relationship!!! It’s a shame people still view it as a problem.

  2. I loved this post — all of my relationships have been interracial and it’s always been and up and down roller coaster for me. I’m from the South as well and an Afro-Latina and I’ve have other Latinos ask me why I wasn’t dating a Latino when I was with my white boyfriend. When I was with my Latino boyfriend, people would ask him why he wanted to date a “black Latina.” It was all so confusing to me as my parents never had a problem with anyone I’ve dated.

    I live in Los Angeles now and one of my favorite things is the diversity and how no one bats an eyelash at interracial relationships and I love that.

    Thanks for sharing! x


    1. California is much more liberal than the South. Lol I’m from California myself and I can’t imagine what ya’ll go through in the South. Glad you’re accepted here in Cali! It’s just lack of culture and ignorance honestly it’ll pass soon enough hopefully. Rooting for you and your man ❤️

    1. Yasss love! I’m so excited to have mixed kids in the future lol it’s great connecting with others and hearing similar stories. I barely have any friends who are also in an interracial relationship. Congrats to you and your husband!!!

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